New one for the list

Here’s a new one for my list – self-doubt. First time since I started this blog.

I’m saying to myself: “What am I doing writing about beer and carrots? Who wants to hear about a happy life getting better anyway? Not that anyone’s listening at the moment anyway…”

I suppose this is a really good test. This is a typical ceiling for me. I can only be so happy – allow myself so much self-congratulation – before I have to start beating myself over the head with a wet copy of Stroud Life and tell myself to bring myself down a notch or two.

So, come on T. – what’s the antidote to Self Doubt? Julia Cameron says it’s self love. Even though that’s true, in this ‘red-hot minute’ that sounds a bit cute and a bit too opposite. Its a mistake to expect ourselves to leap from the frying pan into a bed of roses.

Small steps…. I think right now it’s enough to say: “This is what I’ve chosen to do. This is what feels right to do. I have to try it, even though at times it might seem silly, shallow, naiive or optimistic”.

This is a perfect time for the Energy Ladder. If doubts persist in the morning I’ll do one but right now it’s nearly midnight, Guy is sleeping next to me and its time I closed the lid of my computer. Maybe I can try a mental Energy Ladder before I fall asleep.

I’ll report back – oh non-existent audience. Ha! That makes me smile. Hey, self-deprecating humour – that helps. I’ve stumbled on a partial antidote by accident! Taking oneself too seriously is clearly a pre-cursor to self-doubt.

Plenty to sleep on. Good night Me!


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