Keep your loved-one on a pedestal

Now that I’ve started running my Artist’s Way workshops again I’m going to be much more conscious about doing Artist’s Dates. These are basically about taking yourself off for about an hour a week just to have fun with you and you. They are meant to be playful, nurturing and fun – as if you were taking a child out on an outing.

My Artist’s Date today is probably no surprise for many of you – I took myself to the cinema – my favourite ‘me’ thing to do! The movie was “Hope Springs” and it struck me how well my new consciousness theme is embodied in it. The story basically follows a couple going through hard times and having therapy. (It’s a real testament to the screenwriter and the actors that they could make such a potentially agonising situation so poignant and funny). But the point is it highlights that the trouble with this older couple, who have been married for 31 years is that they have become UNCONSCIOUS of each other. Here’s a clip:


Long ago I realised something in my marriage: I must always do my damndest to keep Guy on a pedestal. What I mean by this is that I must do what it takes to take my gaze off the strange bathroom habits, the forgetfulness of conversations held only an hour ago, the constant losing of keys etc. etc. and focus resolutely on what makes him special – his handsome face, his humour, his love of his family, all the hard work he does on our behalf and so on. I know his faults (as he knows mine) so it’s not about ignoring them so much as saying: “that’s part of the package but I choose to make a conscious effort to keep my line of vision on the pedestal – because if I don’t, then smelly socks can take on way more significance than they should!



4 responses to “Keep your loved-one on a pedestal

  1. T, how poignant and timely that you should post this! I have just been on what I think amounts to being an Artist’s Date given to me by Saff, my wife of only 12 years. It was a voucher for an Urban Writer’s Retreat where I have her permission, as much as mine to shut myself away for the day and do the thing I love to do the most: muse, drink coffee and write about love, life, the universe and everything. It’s been a real tonic and I think I appreciate her all the more for it. Indulging one another’s passions rules!! šŸ™‚

  2. How do you go about focusing on the ‘special’ aspects of your Guy, as opposed to the flaws or mistakes? Have you been able to succeed?

    • Hi’Living in the Moment’- good question! What I try to do as much as possible is to be conscious. It’s easy to pick up on the little niggles but I remember to ‘pan out’ like a movie camera and see the bigger picture. So I remember what makes him special – what I love about his character (his sense of humour, his generosity, his strength and quiet authority), what I love about him physically (his arms, his smile, his silver hair etc.), what I love about him as a husband, father, friend, brother, son etc. – and so on. Once you start to make a list like this you’ll see it starts to grow and grow. Abraham Hicks calls this a ‘rampage of appreciation’. And yes, I do succeed … most of the time! šŸ™‚
      Thanks for your interest. It’s fun to think about it again – in fact I think you’ve given me an idea for my next post! x

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