With hindsight now I see that I recently dialled down my personal power. I was in a funk – probably because of falling into a familiar trap: forgetting to feed my creative and spiritual self enough.
That lowered personal energy led to me being vulnerable and needing the world around me – the people around me – to show up in a certain way that I felt would feed me. In other words I was looking to my environment and the people in it to compensate for what I had lost – my power. It didn’t work. It never works that way. I lost myself and only I could be responsible for bringing myself back.
But how do you bring yourself back? The answer is slowly and gradually. When you’re in a metaphorical valley you can only regain perspective by slowly climbing the hill, one foot in front of the other, until you reach the top. It’s not a journey without discomfort – I went through powerlessness, blame, neediness, embarrassment and self-analysis – but now I’m through, on top of the hill and contemplating the view.
For those of you who know my work and the tools I use, all this is a reflection of what I call The Energy Ladder. (You can see my article about it here). All those emotions I went through were, in fact, representative of my journey back up my emotional ladder. So, blame was a step up from powerlessness, neediness was a step up from blame and so on.
The key to remember here is that we’re not aiming to stay on the hill all the time – it can be very powerful to explore the valley floor – but don’t stay there too long because it’s impossible to get the true learning you are seeking until you come back up the hill.
If you are in a valley today look for the next step up. What brings you some relief? At first it might not be something very ‘enlightened’ or pretty. Anger for instance is better than hopelessness but it’s not an emotion usually encouraged. It is, however, a step up because it feels like a release and taking some control. Obviously try not to stay there too long – it’ll soon be time to find the next emotion that brings relief – perhaps resentment. And then it might be confusion. And then it might be doubt. And then it might be curiosity which leads to hope and so on, right up to Joy if you keep going. Step by step. Always looking for what brings relief and what feels like your truth at the time.
The reward is learning, greater self-definition and a dialling up of our personal power.
Be kind to yourself. Be patient. Be a stand for your learning. Appreciate the journey.